Editor’s Note: When trials come into our lives, it’s usually easier to turn to our fleshly desires rather than seek and ask God for His help. Delores learned that rebellion against God during trials only worsened the situation and negatively impacted her own life in the process.
Romans 6:22, “But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.”
Life is a gift given freely to all. I never understood why I was given this gift or, furthermore, worthy of accepting such a gift. Growing up, I always felt incomplete and invisible. It seemed I could only be noticed when I slipped up and made a complete fool of myself. Being raised up in church, I heard of God. I was told stories, taught valuable lessons, corrected when needed, and read the holy bible. Yet, I still felt incomplete. Often people would encourage me to have a relationship with Jesus, showing me how His love is the greatest of all.
Faced with the choice: “Life or Death”
Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is Death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
It all began when I chose to rebel. My family was experiencing crisis after another. Instead of running and seeking God for help, I sowed into the flesh. I was disobedient, ungrateful, untrustworthy, and lost all respect for myself and others around me. I was hurting people I loved in the process, not even caring about my own life. I was a TOTAL FOOL!! Once I graduated from high school, I fell into a deep depression. My mind was empty, I was lost, with no comprehension or stability, and peace was nowhere to be found. It was very hard to explain what was going on with me and how I was feeling when asking for help. I didn’t want to deal with the pressures of judgement, hatred, or even classified as an insane person. I was running away from the love that was offered from friends and family. I pushed away men who truly loved and wanted to care for me. Honestly, I didn’t know how to receive love and comfort anymore. So afraid of hurting anyone again, I decided to shut myself in, away from living life to the fullest. The enemy was on my back strong. Urging me to end my life, lies were thrown at me left and right. Telling me that I would never amount to anything; “no one cares, how could they when you’re nothing but an emotional wreck. Tests and trials will all go away if you just end your life, hurry up you’re wasting time, you’re too ugly to understand things, plus your mind is gone, let me help, I know what’s best!” Unwarily, I sought help.
Some people from my church prayed with me and gave me a hopeful hand,but others shunned me away. I have never felt so alone in my life before. People who said they cared looked at me with shame, embarrassed to call me friend. All I wanted was for someone to notice me, hold me, remind me of who I am, and never let me go. To allow me to cry, scream, pull me in for a hug and, most importantly, tell me I am beautiful because I am. Above all, I wanted someone to accept me for who I am and not my past faults, taking all my cares away. Until one day I was tired of being sick and tired. I fell to my knees and whole-heartedly accepted God as my Lord and Savior. Instantly I began to cry; I was so excited that finally someone noticed and cared so much for me. My tears were no longer of sorrow but of great joy and peace.
I CHOSE LIFE! That’s it, so overwhelmed because I was reunited and revived with the Holy Spirit. In greater translation, my Comforter loved me with agape Love. Indeed, it was true love at first sight. I promised myself never again to let go of his unfailing love. Grace and mercy has kept me! My past is called my “past” for a reason, having nothing to do with my future.
John 15:13-15, “Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for servants’ knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things I have heard of my father I have made known unto you.”
**Every life is beautiful; I encourage everyone to try Jesus! He loved me before I cared to notice, and claimed I didn’t have anybody.
** My mission is to help “Save a Life”
We (I Am) a flower in his garden of life! One day he’s going to call me home by name. Don’t believe me? just WATCH!!
Signed by: Child of God
P.S. THE CROSS HAS MADE ME FLAWLESS!!!!