The summer before my college career began in 2011, I underwent a time of depression and anxiety. Not only had I chosen not to go to my first choice school Simpson University in Redding, California, but I also had no clear-cut option as to what college to attend in Arizona instead. To add the cherry on top, it was too late to ask for more financial aid at that point. That was the summer I learned to rely on the Lord like never before. It wasn’t just school-related, I was also battling personal demons because of a failed relationship. I questioned God about everything – why now Lord? Why did he cheat on me? Why don’t I have a clue as to where I should study? Why, why, why. I am so grateful God is incredibly patient and loving with us because we have the tendency to really test that patience. I started the summer with depression and ended it with joy.
I had an in-depth conversation with one of my aunts and she recommended going to community college for the first two years of studies. Not only was it cheaper, I mused, but also probably a wiser decision in the long run. So I decided to go on that route and applied for Estrella Mountain Community College in Avondale, AZ. The only catch was there was no way I could afford to even attend a community college. My family was not exactly financially stable at that moment and thus my anxiety deepened. Although God kept reminding me of Jeremiah 29:11,“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I focused more on what I didn’t have rather than having faith in God that He would provide.
One morning, I hit rock bottom with this situation. I needed to go to Estrella Mountain to see if I could get financial aid and this crippling fear just took over me. At that time, I was terrified of speaking to people – mostly adults – that I did not know personally. I broke down in tears and knelt, finally beseeching my Heavenly Father who had been with me every single moment. I remember grabbing my journal and writing down the exact amount that we needed to pay for my first semester and in faith I began to ask God to provide, somehow, the means to get it paid. Sheesh did I really have that little faith in my God? It must’ve been the size of a mustard seed because a few days later, my prayers were answered miraculously and through the most curious circumstances.
One of my high school friends posted on Facebook about how he had received a full-ride scholarship to Estrella Mountain through their honors program. I immediately commented and asked him how I could get in as well since I had graduated with honors. He said I had to call this certain person and send my transcripts to the honors program. That was all great and all but the only problem was that I also hated talking on the phone, especially with strangers (Can you tell I’m an introvert?) When I think back to this, I laugh because this was one of the ways that God began to chip away my shell. I made the call and got my high school to send them the transcripts. I literally had done everything right before the deadline and praise be to God, I got the full-ride scholarship.
I know it won’t happen this way with everyone because let’s face it, we each experience unique moves of God. But one thing’s for sure: God will move mountains and answer prayers for anyone that has faith in Him. Faith is key.He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. ” -Matthew 17:20